Thursday, November 1, 2012

Oil and Water

I'm selfish, impatient, and insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best. -Marilyn Monroe (1926 - 1962) 

Oil and water. Two substances that cannot be mixed. And the worst part is that even though they are inevitably separated with each other, those two substances remain enclosed into one vessel. No matter how big it is and how clear they can be distinguished, they're still lying on the same ground.

It's like being in a room, bumping onto each other, looking at each other's eyes but there are no words coming out between us. It seems like we've been treating each other more than a stranger; or is it just the walls that we've built between us? That I can't tell.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

You, you, you.

I've been thinking...what if it's been you all along?
What if it's you who made my life worth living?
after all these years that I existed?
I've been making myself too busy looking, waiting
Now I'm thinking if you really ever came into my life or even existed.

You, you, you.
I'm so crazy about 'you'
It's not 'you' but you,
The feeling that I'm feeling with you.
I'm just writing for me to remember you.

Just once, only once
Make me try to forget about you.

Savoring the last hour of my teenage year

I can't imagine how time flies so fast.
Plain words can't even explain.
Gaining and losing some friends ;
Fighting and losing battles.

New experiences and lessons learned,
We're learning who to keep,
Now we're trying to let go.

Some memories kept on haunting;
Some memories we can't recall.
But the best part is when you drop
And you'll flop your wings up above...

Now I'm reminiscing:
We used to cry for an injured knee,
We used to be afraid of the dark,
We used to be careless,
We used to pretend
that we can be anything we wanted.

Now, step back and feel the gravity,
And let me get you back to reality.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Ang Tayutay ng Handaan

*ang litrato ay nagmula sa Flickr.
Eto na, nakahain na,
Ano 'pang inaantay mo?
Kulang pa ba ang paalala at pag-aasikaso?
Kulang pa ba ang hirap at pagod na dinaranas ko?
Hindi mo pa ba ramdam na ikaw na lang ang wala?

Ano 'pang inaantay mo?
Kunin na lamang ang kubyertos,
Isusubo na lamang,
Ngunit ika'y wala pa,
Hinanap ka na at lahat,
Hindi mo ba alam na para rin ito sa'yo?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey (Top 6 Choices for Lead Role)

(left to right) I. Somerhalder; M. Bomer; C. Pine; A. Pettyfer; H. Cavill
C. Egglesfield--added (10:34 pm)
(left to right) F. Jones; A. Bledel; M. Kerr; A. Greene; L. Hale
C. Belle --added 11:32 pm

If I were given the chance to pick the cast for the Lead role of the novel 'Fifty Shades of Gray', I'll choose either Ian Somerhalder or Colin Egglesfield to portray the mysterious, 'mercurial' and sexy Christian Grey. While Felicity Jones or Alexis Bledel (or Camilla Belle) would portray the witty but innocent Anastasia Steele. 

Rumors are spreading that this novel will be turned into a movie, and which my guess would be challenging to the future staff and director because as far as I can remember, the book predominantly consists of erotic scenes between Christian and Ana, which might be criticized mostly by individuals who are conservative by some individuals. I wonder how the director will work on these scenes. Having read E.L. James' "Fifty Shades of Gray", "Fifty Shades Darker" and "Fifty Shades Freed", my mind wandered through the possibilities on the situation of the other characters encountered by the couple at the end, which I consider the downside part. The author barely gave an idea to Christian Grey's family, to Elena and his ex-husband, to Jack Hyde and Elizabeth Morgan, and other recurring characters. It seems like the book purely revolves around the two of them, but honestly, I enjoyed reading it especially the exchange of love notes (or e-mails) between Christian and Ana, which I wish that they won't cut any part of it in the movie because this would be the most thrilling part of the book. Honestly, I have no regrets on reading this book out of my growing curiosity.

I guess many readers are patiently waiting and stowing their twitchy palms to see who will be chosen to play the leading roles. As for now, in my own perspective, these people can possibly portray the roles effectively:

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Let's call it a day.

Dear future i-don’t-know-what-to-call-you,

This could be one of the days that I’ll have enough time to recuperate myself.  But then, I realized that maybe I am wasting too much time for myself, and that I have no one to spend my unrestricted time with, even though upcoming plans and undertakings are piling up, begging me to accomplish them right away. Maybe I was too overwhelmed by couples surrounding me – holding hands and sweet talks. Oh, how I wish I could spare those precious times with you! 

Maybe one day we could swim the endless ocean and gaze into the colorful life residing underwater. Perhaps, we can soar and overlook at the pure guise of the wilderness and after that, we could watch the sun descend and wait for its moon. But the most important thing is that I know you, and that I’m with you.

I’m wondering how long will I be staring at this blank slate, feeling foolish and dissatisfied with what I have in hand. And there’s no one here, but me. When will I meet you? Or will I ever meet you?

*photo credits to tumblr.

Microwave cupcakes

Just made some of these today! yum yum :)

All you have to do is mix some flour, cocoa powder, sugar, milk, eggs, oil, vanilla and chocolate chips in a mug. Leave it in the microwave in HIGH setting for 2 1/2 minutes and then, BOOM! You may enjoy your chocolate cake in a mug. :D

photo from: writing our way home

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Seashells on the Shore

Do you remember the time when
I wrote your name on the sand using these shells?
Its the time when I let my guard down,
Believing that you could be the one.
But now, the water has ran into the shore...

*photo credits to Mango Red

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

and it happened...

A face could be deceiving but the heart itself cannot be mislead.

It's really hard when you declare that you love someone or something; because at the time you declare is the time that you'll lose, you'll lose everything that you thought that you're happy and you'll be saying 'I think this is it'  and 'I won't find anything else for exchange'. I think that's the way life goes on. Maybe the next time that I feel something that is worth sacrificing for, it would be better to just ignore and just go with the flow. I'd prefer to live through a muddy-clear expression of feelings than to proclaim what the heart really says than be dumped that easily for knowing that being worth sacrificing for is equal to infinite forgiveness and no valuation of my self worth.

Friday, April 27, 2012


I'm on my nth day out of my 38 days in my practicum subject. So far, its been good for me when it comes to the relationship with the employees(although I haven't memorized all of their names correctly), they really are kind of me and because of that, they 'rarely' give my any other things to do, and I have limited resources to make myself busy.

Why did I say so?
I don't have my own desk and working computer(actually, I'm writing right now, during my working hours, good thing I can browse on this site, and finally, I'm using someone's computer while she's one of the participants of the on-going seminar somewhere in Mindanao. Thank God I had the chance to use one unit, but only up to this day, too bad), I'm only trying to make myself busy in reading books: to be precise, I already finished 6 books in an average of 3 days each book, that means I'm spending too much time on reading instead of working on something related to what I've studied although I know, as a trainee, that they will only give you clerical works most of the time, but they're giving me almost none.

Anyway, I've discovered a lot of authors lately and I'm going to read their novels the next day I had the chance to grab a copy of an e-book, a PDF copy or an actual book. Maybe I'll try to read Niccolo Machiavelli's "The Prince" or Victor Hugo's "Les Misérables". I'm really interested in reading this since high school because one of our teachers told us that Machiavelli's work has been one of the favorite books of late president Marcos during his regime.

Going through the whole point, it feels like I've been working here for years! I don't know if I'm the only one who feels bored, exasperated and anxious on my everyday routine: waking up 5:30 in the morning, dressing up at 6, preparing my things for work and leave the house at 6:45 then, you'll go home 7 or 8 in the evening and eat your late dinner at 9pm. I can probably relate this routine during my ordinary school days but this time, it feels like I'm emotionally and mentally tired, not because I'm doing too much mental thinking and analyzing tables, graphs and any other economic variables in the firm that I'm working on, but I'm tired because of the idle 'hours' that have been wasted. In short, I'm not really productive at all, in every single day. I don't know yet, but right at this moment, I don't know if I want to stay at this kind of workplace; I admit it has a good reputation and even a good working environment (working in a high rise building and good food served at the canteen), but I don't feel like I belong to this kind of work until the day that I'll retire.

'Lemme share you some things that I've experienced in my almost first half of my on the job training(this includes the pros and cons):

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I'm Starting Again

I just can't help on looking at their pictures. When I'm looking at them one by one, I feel like they really wanted to make me feel like they don't need me anymore, that they wanted to show how I am NOT a part of them, that I'm just like a worthless shim, that they had no choice, that they don't like my presence, and just like that, they rejected all of my efforts and sacrifices.

Friday, March 2, 2012

New Heights

Have you seen this viral short film entitled "Love Language" from The Jubilee Project? 

This film had led to many different variations by other youtube users and subscribers and they all featured the same track. I've fallen in love with the music of this film from the moment I saw this, and then I did my research about this band called New Heights.

New Heights - Peaches

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This band is composed of Travis Graham (whom I found out that he is a half Filipino and Irish!), Chris Kwak, Kiyung Park, Tyler Carroll, and Bobby Walker. They have released their three studio EP’s to their credit, and recently, their first full-length album, “Something to Believe,” that was released on Sept. 25, 2011.

Saturday, February 11, 2012


Everybody doesn't have a chance to get what they want or even what they really needed. Sometimes, we must learn how to appreciate the things that are left with us. Based on what I've learned on all of my economics subject, everything depends on how you will look at the situation: when you looked at it on an optimistic way, it might love you back, or even gave you more than what what you deserve; and when you looked at the situation on a pessimistic side, things might just get a little bit worse or should I say 'messed up'?   But there will always be certain factors that may affect your decisions. And its not that easy to be grateful at the things that are left with you.

Sometimes, when we don't get what what we want, most of us try to bury ourselves in misery and despair, that we don't have any guts to kick some asses but rather think that we are just pain in the ass. They say that it is a good sign that we feel pain because we live on the cliche that 'we are humans, that we cannot get rid of the pain' or 'God has bigger plans for you' but we just can't accept the fact that its really painful, after the hard work and sacrifices that you've done to earn something and getting things that are much less than your average expectations, its just...its really hard to deal with this kind of situation.

Looking at my own state, I found out that it's really hard to hold back your tears when a sudden misfortune comes your way. They say you shouldn't let others see your weakness, but ...

okay, so I think I'll just cope up with this miserable situation, sail with the waves
And i'll be ready to prepare my big fake smile and continue to keep these tears on my mind.